…Continued from the previous post.

It was a brisk 18 degrees outside, but inside Springfield College’s Blake Arena, I was sweating bullets.

Halfway through a highly entertaining gymnastics meet, Ithaca College was clinging to a lead of less than one point over their host, Springfield College. And the outcome of this Alma Mater Battle Royale would impact my life for the next month. Should The Bird’s Springfield Pride come back to win, I was staring at some hard time on the business end of a bag of Tidy Cat. If my Bombers were to hold on though, my nightly kitchen clean-up routine would be a thing of the past – well, for 30 days, anyway.

And no matter the outcome, this whole thing had to be over in less than an hour, or I would miss the end of the January Thaw skeedskating event taking place across the state line in Hartford. Which, according to the strict bylaws of the “It’s Game Time Somewhere” Tour, would prohibit me from claiming it as an official Tour event.

Many would crumble under this kind of pressure. Then again, many more would think the whole thing pretty silly. The IGTS Tour has that kind of polarizing effect on people.   
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…Continued from the previous post.

You have to understand. This was not just another sporting event. And I’m not just saying that because I arrived screaming into the parking lot on two wheels, trying to extricate myself from a double-booking fiasco.

No, this event had other, more critical consequences.

“What could possibly be so important about a women’s gymnastics meet between two Division III colleges?” you may ask.

It’s quite simple. The meet in question matched the Springfield College Pride against the Ithaca College Bombers. I am an Ithaca alum. The Bird has a sheepskin from Springfield. This was epic mano a (wo)mano stuff. But it was not just for bragging rights – chores were on the line.

If Ithaca were to win, it would mean no dishwashing duties for a month for yours truly. If Springfield won, I would inherit litter box detail. See what I mean? Big. HUGE.
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As far as I know, never in the annals of misguided sports odysseys has this been done before. I refer, of course, to chronicling two sporting events at once.

Not two events in one day. That’s child’s play. Not two events in one day in two separate cities. Yawn…did it.

I’m talking two separate events in two different states. Simultaneously. You tell me one other person doing a sports walkabout that has pulled that off. I’ll wait…
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I spent the other evening rooting like hell for a temperature of 10 degrees.

The alert reader may wonder why, given that when the thermometer displays 10 degrees, the description of the weather is never just “cold” – there’s always an adjective in front of it.

My motivation was simple:  At the time it was 0 degrees, and I was going to be spending the bulk of the next day outdoors at the Winter Dew Tour’s Killington, Vermont stop. By comparison, 10 degrees would be a huge improvement. At 10, we’d be talking “excruciatingly painful” as opposed to the “potentially rushed to the hospital” I normally associate with 0.

I really needn’t have worried though. I had the Ski Diva on my side.

The Ski Diva started out as a self-professed Ski Chick, but her years of working in the ski business have undoubtedly earned her a promotion. And for her efforts on my behalf she’s now up for Ski Sainthood (assuming there is such a designation).

In preparation for the “It’s Game Time Somewhere” Winter Swing, she had given me a checklist of clothing articles that I needed to think seriously about bringing along. None of which I actually owned, of course.
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Like most everybody else, I have only the vaguest of notions of what Hell is like. The whole fire and brimstone thing never actually clicked with me – hey, if it’s warm it can’t be all bad. No, my vision of Hell involves mostly images of cold and dark. And reality television. I’m guessing that Keeping Up With The Kardashians is broadcast 24/7 there.

The reason I bring this up is because the end result of my recent trip to the Bob Hope Classic is a guaranteed reservation in Hades. You see, I snuck a Flip Videocam into a PGA Tour event. And used it. Here is the damning evidence…

To enjoy golf in January in the desert, you have to acquire a taste for sunshine, zero humidity and temperatures in the upper 70’s. It’s not too bad, if you like that sort of thing. As luck would have it, I do – but that was not the motivating factor in including the Classic on the “It’s Game Time Somewhere” Tour schedule. I was actually there to see a celebrity.
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