Give me a sunny day, a good vantage point and a clear idea of the rules, and I could happily watch a Paint-Drying Competition. Toss in a compelling story line upon which to build a rooting interest and I’ll be the last one to leave the bleachers.

At last weekend’s Hampton Classic I had the first two in hand and was working hard on the others as I watched the Davenport Incorporated Amateur/Owner Jumper Classic, the first of the day’s two Grand Prix Ring events. Unfortunately, the tools of my event-watching trade (event documentation, intelligible P.A. system, informative scoreboard, knowledgeable fellow spectators) were in short supply, leaving me to my own devices to figure out how this whole horse-jumping scoring thing works.

At the risk of reducing equestrian experts into spasms of laughter, here’s what I came up with.
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The Hampton Classic was once described to me as “the Super Bowl of equestrian events”. Hmmm. Intriguing. Unable to control the Pavlovian effect that the words “Super Bowl” have on a sports fan, I felt immediately compelled to travel to the outer reaches of Long Island, New York to take in Hampton Classic XXXV. Hey, I was in the neighborhood.

Mind you, this was the Hamptons on Labor Day Weekend, so I knew it wouldn’t be a piece of cake to get there. And as a resident of Los Angeles, I like to think of myself as a connoisseur of fine traffic. But as I sat on Route 27 on a sun-splashed Saturday morning I was humbled.

This was clearly a new paradigm in traffic jams, rivaled only by the recent 9-day back-up in China. The next time you hear somebody say facetiously, “I could have walked there faster”, feel free to reference me as a hands-on authority on the matter. I had plenty of time to do the math.
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As I prepared for my visit this weekend to the Del Mar Race Track, I came across this in the L.A. Times’s coverage of last week’s Opening Day:

“Track officials say the secret to attracting fans is to make it a day for fun. ‘You’ve got to make believe you’re in the entertainment business,’ Chief Executive Joe Harper said. ‘What better spot than Del Mar. There’s the Pacific Ocean, palm trees are blowing in the breeze. You have a lot of crazy things going on – hat contests, concerts. It’s become a fun place to be.’”

Ahem…say, ahh Joe? There are some horses running around as well. Some people seem to like that sort of thing.
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Thoroughbred racing was once called “The Sport of Kings”. I don’t know who those kings were, but if they were here today to see what their sport has devolved into, there would be a lot of subjects banished from the kingdom.

Much has been written of late about the demise of thoroughbred racing, as economic conditions and changing consumer tastes have sent horse tracks across the country into a prolonged slump. Even venerable Hollywood Park was described by the L.A. Times recently as having “small crowds and eerie silence” throughout a recent spring/summer season which could very well be its last.
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When last we left this intrepid Sports Fan, I had weasled into the bleachers in the far, far corner of the International Polo Club Palm Beach grounds. This is where a $20 General Admission ticket will get you if you are attending the U.S. Open Polo Championships. I was firmly planted in The G.A., where the lack of amenities is made up for by the lack of a decent sight line. I was reminded of Caddies Field Day at the country club at which I grew up caddying. We had use of the facilities, but there were…limitations. Continue reading…