We here at the global nerve-center of the “It’s Game Time Somewhere” Tour pride ourselves on two things that you might not expect. First, we pay close attention to the things that Americans care most deeply about – I speak of course of celebrity kerfuffles. Second, we make every attempt possible to work words like “kerfuffle” into any random conversation.

So in light of my former Governator’s recent admission that there was another pitcher in the family bullpen, so to speak, I dedicate this edition of The Lists to Arnold Schwarzenegger by appropriating perhaps his most memorable utterance:  “I’ll be back”.

I probably would have gone to that Great Big Grandstand In The Sky without having ever seen many of the sports that were introduced to me during the recently completed IGTS Tour. Prior to the Tour, an invitation to attend some of these events would have drawn from me a response along the lines of “Come again? You want me to watch what?”

Truth be told, many of those are best left in the “one and done” category – enjoyable experiments, but not my specific cup of tea. Some however, captivated me through their charm, their uniqueness, or their heaping helpings of just plain fun. The following is a list of sporting events about which I would never have expected to say…I’ll be back.

And I will.

The NCAA Decathlon and Heptathlon Championships (aka “The Combineds”):  I actually attended the Pac-10 Combined Championships, where it took me about 13 ½ minutes to fall in love with the concept. Ten separate, completely different athletic contests for men, seven for women. So naturally I’m now greedy, and want to experience the sport at the next highest level.

There is very little transfer of skills from one field event to another, let alone from field events to track events. That’s probably why the combineds are a sport practiced by a select few people. At the Pac-10 Combineds, the entire UCLA team consisted of Ryann Krais in the heptathlon and Trent Perez in the decathlon. So the drama is even more personal.

And make no mistake about it – this is way beyond challenging. I wonder what the thought process is for taking up the decathlon or heptathlon. Did Trent for example, wake up one morning and say “I think I’ll try my hand at ten different sports today and see if I can excel in each of them”?

NASCAR:  The contrarian in me had previously resisted going to a NASCAR race simply because this sports property had been held out as the standard in terms of fan experiences done well. And also because Budweiser gives me a headache.

Boy was I wrong – about the race, not the Budweiser. NASCAR is a blast, especially if you’re fortunate enough to see a race without too many caution flags. My first NASCAR experience was at a road course instead of an oval track, something that I’ve since been told was a big mistake. In fact, the experts I’ve consulted actually tut-tutted road courses, telling me that I haven’t seen anything until I attend a track race. Yes, they tut-tutted. Or was it tsk-tsked?

In either case, I now have something else to look forward to. 

Collegiate Water Polo:  This could have easily made the “Five You Must See Live” list, because most of what makes it enjoyable to watch takes place outside the normal lens of the camera. Like fouling for example, which in water polo is an art form.

Above the water, all is calm and efficient as the ball is whipped around with surgical precision. Much like with ducks on a pond though, there’s a lot of action going on under the water. And most of that ranges somewhere on a scale between “uncharitable” and “bail-bond inducing”. This is mixed martial arts with nose-clips.

And who can hate the inverse Gatorade shower celebration, during which anybody standing too close to the winning team’s sideline as the seconds tick down on a big win is going into the pool. I had to double-check to make sure I wasn’t at Bushwood Country Club on Caddies Day. This was Big Fun throughout.

U.S. National Diving Championships:  I received my exposure to elite level diving when I attended a Zone Preliminary event, which is diving-speak for a Regional Qualifier. That’s the way they do things at USA Diving – just a little bit outside the norm. But trust me when I tell you that it’s worth the effort to decipher the verbal hieroglyphics that accompany a diving meet.

As the heights from which the competition takes place get progressively higher, ultimately reaching the platform level, it becomes bungee-jumping without the cord – but with various aerial acrobatics routines. These people are either brain-damaged or fearless, and the Cringe Meter for the casual onlooker spends a good deal of time pinned to the red.

Diving really is the forerunner of extreme sports, but gets very little street cred in that regard. The upside of this is that ESPN has yet to suck diving into the X Games, thus preserving a great viewing experience. For now, anyway.

Major League Soccer:  If you happen to live in or visit the Pacific Northwest and you don’t take in an MLS game while there, you’re missing the boat. Especially in Seattle, where a Sounders game is as close to the near-religious soccer experience of the Barclays Premier League as is possible in the U.S. of A.

A couple of things here. First, I can’t ever recall another time when I received a distinctly separate email thanking me for my purchase of a ticket to a sporting event. I think the USGA sent two burly guys in dark suits and reflective sunglasses to my door to “suggest” that I not even think about bringing a cell phone or camera to the U.S. Open, but that was about it.

Second, the email in question started out with “Now that you’ve got tickets for this Sounders FC match, it’s time for us to get you informed on the ins and outs of the Xbox Pitch at Qwest Field” (my emphasis). Note the proactive assumption of responsibility on the part of the team to make sure I was maximizing my enjoyment. This is truly unique. And I certainly hope it catches on throughout sports.

USA Canoe/Kayak Slalom National Championships:  I can’t imagine a more perfect venue for this than the Bethesda Center of Excellence in Maryland, but given that it takes planes, trains and automobiles to get there, I’m open to a different locale. As long as the competition is as captivating as it was at the BCE.

There are no breaks in the whitewater action, as one paddler after another heads down river to test their skills on the rapids and the hazards. And as for getting close to the action – only when I became concerned about the effects of the water spray on my camera did I feel that I needed to back off a bit on my vantage point. It was like going to a baseball game and sandwiching myself in between the catcher and the umpire. Without getting thrown out of the stadium, no less.

Women’s Collegiate Volleyball:  Consider this a public service announcement, targeted specifically at the male youths (or “youts”, if you prefer) of the country. Pay close attention to this advice, young squires:  Make some room in your schedule for some high-quality loitering around women’s volleyball practice at your high school or college. Unless of course you have something against athletic, long-legged blondes with cover-girl beauty. You’re welcome.

Sure the men’s game is played farther above the net, with more powerful kill shots. But the women’s game features a far greater number of spectacular rallies, and a much higher level of contagious emotion. And fan-friendly? When was the last time you went to a collegiate sporting event at which the athletes hung around for a post-match cocktail reception, as they do at USC’s Galen Center? 

8-Man High School Football:  I admit it. Before attending a game, I thought that “8-man” equaled “poorly played” football. I now freely admit that I was wrong. Again.

Essentially, “8-man” only means “smaller student population of males”. The skill levels I saw exhibited were on par with 11-man football – but the pace of the game was vastly different. Six fewer players on a field that is of regulation width (albeit just 80 yards long) makes the 8-man game much more wide-open. Scores in the 50s and even 60s are not uncommon. Blink and you’ll miss a touchdown. No lead is insurmountable.

What I like the best about it though, is the perspective. The game is clearly important, but not life and death, for either the players or the fans. It suggests high school football in a previous era, one that refreshingly predates Mel Kiper, Jr.

The U.S. National Synchronized Swimming Championships (and its cousin, the U.S. Synchronized Team Skating Championships):  No conversation of sports in which the word “endearing” is used is complete without also using the word “synchronized”.

Neither of these sports gets the respect it deserves, especially when you consider that both entail a level of strength and stamina that if channeled toward most other sports would be celebrated loudly. Admit it. When you read the words “synchronized swimming” you snickered. One of two things came to mind:  (a) a grainy black and white newsreel featuring the watery equivalent of the Hokey Pokey, or (b) the water ballet scene from Caddyshack. Don’t lie – you were thinking Little Miss Sunshine with water wings. To be totally honest, I thought the same thing. But within 15 minutes of my first exposure to Synchro I became a convert.  

The three synchronized events I attended were authentic hallmarks of the joy of competition and teamwork – and isn’t that what sports should be about?