I’m starting a movement. I haven’t got a name for it yet…alright, I admit it – virtually none of the organizational details have progressed beyond the half-baked stage. But I have a cause: I will not rest until it is decreed that all aquatic sporting events must be conducted outside.

I didn’t even know that I was possessed of this passion until I arrived recently at the Splash Aquatics Center in La Mirada, CA. On my way there to watch the U.S. Masters Synchronized Swimming Championships, I had been assuming the event would take place in the same environment that I’d experienced when I attended the U.S. Nationals in April.

Now, I love the smell of chlorine as much as the next person. And what can be more inviting than the still air of a humid, over-heated natatorium? OK, pretty much anything. But my newfound love affair with “synchro” had made the conditions bearable in the Spring, and I knew that the same would hold true now in the Fall.

With this in mind, imagine my delight when I rolled up to the ticket gate and discovered that the Masters would take place in an outdoor pool! My entire disposition instantly brightened, and thus was born my yet-to-be-named activist organization. For I hold this truth to be self-evident: A pool full of sparkling diamonds created by a bright sun is the rightful domain of any competition with the words “swimming” or “diving” in the title. (As an aside, I’ve also observed that there’s typically a nicer breeze outdoors than in).

So by show of hands – who’s with me?

As I sat in the stands basking in the sun and the synchronization, I couldn’t help but compare this event to the previously mentioned Synchro U.S. Nationals. And what I discovered was quite intriguing.  

First, this was an entirely different type of competition. It lacked the “Wow Factor” of the U.S. Nationals, mostly because you can only be bowled over once by a huge discrepancy between expectation and reality. Moreover, I had chosen to take in the “Frees” competition here at the Masters, which emphasizes artistic merit somewhat more than technical performance. Not to say that these routines weren’t impressive in and of themselves, but they didn’t have the same jaw-dropping impact of multiple thigh-high explosions out of the pool and 25-second sequences of tremendous exertion while holding one’s breath under water.

Second, my visit to the Nationals was event #5 on the IGTS Tour, and the lens through which I view sports has changed in the 61 events since then. At that time, my perspective was that every sporting event should be conducted with the primary goal of maximizing fan attendance and reach, with every other objective tied for second.

Don’t get me wrong – I still believe that synchro is a vastly under-promoted sport. It’s just that I no longer feel that all sports that have a modest following are by definition underachieving – small crowds do not necessarily equate to failure on the part of event organizers. This realization has been part of my evolution in understanding the state of sports in America.

I’m not sure which delighted me more: The discovery that there was a division in the Free Duets competition comprised solely of women who were 70-79 years of age, or the fact that this division consisted of six different teams! One of these teams did a themed routine accompanied by multiple musical selections involving dogs. The word “priceless” could only begin to describe its charm.

Imagine my surprise when it turned out that these girls were relative youngsters in comparison to the next group of athletes – the 80-89 year-olds. This division featured just one team, which led to the obvious question: Where are all of the other octogenarian synchronized swimmers? Slackers.

Take a look at this…

It has to be said…somebody?…anybody? All right, I’ll say it:  Bless their hearts. There is no sport with a sweeter disposition than synchro, and it helps to be the consummate Little Old Ladies From Pasadena, although in this case it was San Rafael – the location of Joy Dalgren and Barbara Brown’s home club Redwood Empire Synchro.

It wouldn’t have amazed me in the least if the next group introduced was the Over 90 Division, but it turned out that the pool at that point was turned over to youngsters in both heart and chronology. The 20-29 year-olds started by taking the graceful Water Ballet origins of the sport as displayed by the two previous divisions and adding a healthy dose of sheer athleticism.

Up until that point the musical choices had been more on the melodic side, heavy on medleys of classics and big band hits. With the younger divisions…not so much.

Representative of this group of performances, Melanie Stanton and Catherine Tussey from Denver’s Rocky Mountain Splash team had chosen a very upbeat flamenco number. In addition to being more enjoyable to listen to (oops – how did that personal bias slip past the censors?), this piece required the ladies to step up the speed of their routine to match the rhythm of the music – thus truly testing the quality of their synchronization. And they pulled it off, pretty much flawlessly. Check it out…

The pace, now ratcheted up, rolled through the 20-29 and 30-39 year-old divisions, where eventually local products Alia Arbas and Ymajahi Brooks of the host Unsyncables of La Mirada closed out the competition with an energetic routine that blew the crowd away. By that time I had it on good authority that if you Google “synchronized swimming training videos”, you’ll find Brooks there. I had thought that this was merely a sport-specific equivalent of the old joke that begins with “If you look up fill-in-word-of-choice in the dictionary…” But sure enough, I gave it a try later, and there she was.

The “good authority” that I mentioned was Deborah Van Dyne, with whom it was my pleasure to share a sunny spot in the bleachers. Deborah was there in her self-described role as recruiter, publicist and biggest fan of Breathless Central Ohio, a team from Columbus. Her level of enthusiasm grew as the meet progressed, and by the time the 40-49 year-old division competition began she was beside herself, as two BCO teams were taking part.

Kris Ferraro and Colleen Pema were first, followed by Meg Loge and Heather Schriver. If I wasn’t rooting for Meg & Heather at first, I was sure on board when the first strains of music for their routine spilled out of the speakers. It was “Build Me Up Buttercup”, the old 60’s song by The Foundations that just happens to be played during the seventh inning stretch at every L.A. Angels home game. My compliments to the choreographer.

It was during a break in the action that THE announcement came across the P.A. system…“Ladies, we have Knox in the showers and the sink. If this is not addressed immediately, we won’t be allowed to come back.”

Every knowledgeable synchro fan instantly understood the urgency of this terse declaration.

Ever wonder how each athlete’s hair stays perfectly captive in a tight bun throughout a routine that involves a great deal of head movement – much of it underwater? Knox gelatin. It dries hard as a rock and only comes out with hot water…or a chisel. Left unattended without either of the above solutions, and you’ve evidently got a timeless piece of sculpture. Or in this case, new locker room furniture.

I don’t know if they ever identified the culprits, but somehow the event survived Knox-Gate, and the show went on in sun-dappled splendor. And as you know, I’m a sucker for sun-dappled.

Next Up:  College Football (The Actual Playoff Kind) – Cal Poly vs. St. Francis