Maybe it was a case of Sports Lag. After all, I was on the back end of a day-night doubleheader involving two different events in two different towns. Maybe it was the dark and rainy film noir-esque night outside. And maybe it was because I was inside a professional sports arena and there was no discernible buzz.

Whatever it was, it was all a bit odd…

I had come to the Rose Garden Arena, the centerpiece of Portland’s Rose Quarter entertainment district, to see Skate America, a stop on the ISU Grand Prix of Figure Skating tour. But as I made my way around an eerily quiet concourse it almost felt as if I’d wandered into the wrong building.

The concourse didn’t appear to be fully lit, and only a handful of concession stands were open. And in a horrific sight that I hope to never again encounter, all of the beer taps at all of the beer stands had been removed! I still shudder at the visual image.

The word that best characterized the entire scene was “subdued”. And perhaps that was even on the charitable side. “Somber” might be a better description.

It struck me that this atmosphere could not have been more divergent than the environment in which I found myself precisely one week earlier – a world championship boxing match in Las Vegas. Are there two sports that are more polar opposite than boxing and figure skating?

Once seated inside the arena, my first impression was that this was one of the most poorly-attended events on the IGTS Tour – and that the attendance at the morning’s NCAA Cross Country Regional rivaled this “crowd”.

But as time went by I started to realize that the problem was really a mismatch of venue and event. The crowd wasn’t really that small – it’s just that it was lost in a sizable arena. It felt a little like somebody had rented out a huge hall for a Christmas party and only a handful of invited guests came. It had that kind of uncomfortable feeling.

So for those of you at home planning to produce a major sports extravaganza, here’s a tip:  Right-size your event. The next time you’re thinking about renting out a sports arena, I offer the following rule of thumb. If you can’t reliably fill more than 20% of the venue on a Saturday night with no major entertainment competition in town, you’ve chosen the wrong building. You’re welcome.

In this particular situation, Skate America was a relatively entertaining program – this from someone who is not predisposed to being entertained by figure skating. A smaller arena however, would have undoubtedly provided a much more energized environment.

To my mind, figure skating is like the Broadway musical of sports…or even worse, the opera. It’s somewhat of an acquired taste.

Maybe it’s the music. I think of myself as possessing a wide range of musical tastes, and I can listen to almost anything. For a while, anyway. But by midway through the evening I’d have gladly bought another $30 ticket just to hear music that had been composed within the past 50 years – and another $20 for a single song that at some point in its history had motivated a parent to yell “For God’s sake, will you turn that racket down!”

And I was reeeeally starting to regret the absence of those beer taps on the concourse.

Perhaps figure skating is just too polite a sport to be exciting. In fact, the most sustained applause for any competitor was that received by Kazakhstan’s Denis Ten, and it was motivated by sympathy and support as we watched him struggle through a routine in which he fell numerous times.

And then there was this…a big deal was made out of individually introducing all of the judges prior to each competition, who were subsequently given a warm welcome by the fans. Which got me to thinking…in what other sport is a judge, umpire or referee applauded? Most of the time, they’re happy with not being booed when their name is announced.

I was a stranger in a strange land.

The Men’s Free Skating led off the evening, with a dozen performances of 4 ½ minutes each. Things were a little slow at first, but picked up when U.S. skater Armin Mahbanoozadeh dazzled the crowd during his time on the ice. He seemed genuinely surprised at the standing ovation that he received at the conclusion of his performance, and then again at the announcement of a score that put him into the lead with three skaters left. But he shouldn’t have been.

First of all, he did a great job – flawless to my untrained eye. Second, he was procedurally set up to take the lead. See, the skaters performed in reverse order of their scores in the previous day’s Short Program, so each skater that took the ice already had a lead in points over their predecessors. All things relatively equal in the Free Skate, it’s only natural that each performance would vault that skater into the combined points lead.

This is more or less what happened throughout the draw, with the predictable result being that U.S. skaters occupied first and second place with just two competitors remaining – both from Japan. Finally – a little drama to sink my teeth into. Could one of the Americans pull off the upset, or would the Japanese hold serve and take gold and silver?

The first Japanese skater, Daisuke Takahashi took a spill in mid-performance, which certainly would seem to have opened the door…but come to find out, despite how bad it looks, a fall only results in a one point deduction – which translates into less than 1% of a skater’s total score. Basically, a wipeout is a non-event if you do everything else reasonably well. Honest.

But Takahashi didn’t do everything else all that well. In fact, the video board replayed both his spill and two other near misses while the judges were deliberating – a departure from the usual display of highlights shown following every other skater’s performance. Perhaps the video board operator was making a statement?

If he was, it didn’t work. To even his own amazement, Takahashi’s score of 148.95 wound up propelling him to a gold medal, narrowly besting his countryman, Nobunari Oda.

By the way, did I mention that Takahashi is the reigning World Champion? Hmmmm…maybe that contrast with boxing that I mentioned isn’t so stark after all.

Following “WipeoutGate”, there was a 45-minute break prior to the beginning of the Pairs Free Skating competition, resulting in a start time for the latter of 9:30. That struck me as a little on the late side, but then again, the Pairs was the main draw. I mean, watching the men swooping and gliding around had been at times impressive, to be sure. But swooping and gliding around while tossing about a cute girl with a dazzling smile and a skin-tight sparkly outfit? Now we’re talking.

And we were not disappointed. Especially those of us who took the break as an opportunity to “upgrade” their choice of seats.

 To my mind, the first seven of the eight Pairs performances were equally remarkable. I was in favor of calling the whole thing a draw and handing out gold medals like candy. And then Aliona Savchenko and Robin Szolkowy of Germany took the ice.

In a word, the two-time defending World Champions were peerless. By the time their performance came to an end, the only question was how wide the margin would be between their score and that of the silver medalists, Canada’s Kirsten Moore-Towers and Dylan Moscovitch.

As a point of reference, Daisuke Takahashi won his Men’s gold by 0.98 points. Savchenko and Szolkowy won by 22.48.

And here’s the kicker – their musical selection was the theme from The Pink Panther, a Grammy winner from 1964. Which is comfortably within my 50 year time frame.

So I guess I owe somebody $30.

Next Up:  The SoCal High School Girl’s Volleyball Championship